19. United Kingdom/England

Nas, NY State of Mind

Aint nothin without struggle


Rekz x A.B

sit ere for how long of my life thinkin to myself i need to be social

thinkin that my circumstances of only talkin to people i know once a month, or if i happen to bump into em while out doin my shit, was acceptable

im turnin 19 in 20 days and it only just occur to me now that it aint even worth it, the world has got too many snakey people in it

my best friend basically turn into Judas, purposely rejectin my calls and shit for other people and when he do answer he just happen to be busy. he talks shit bout me to the people we used to, or still do, chill wit when i aint around and when i bump into him he actin like he wants to know me

my other best mate dont answer his shit and when he do he make arrangements, sayin that he’ll call me cuh im always stressin bout how i dont like havin to call cuh i feel like i’m intruding, but never followin through with his word. i dont know if he talk shit about me but i got one of those feelins he does cuh i get that vibe bout him

two weeks ago i fracture my jaw and skull, i’m in and out of hospital and people who aint even that cool wit me seem to show some concern, but ofcourse they gotta talk some shit behind my back. “oh aint karma hit jack hard” laughin and shit, it aint even bother me tho it just made me realize

that night there was only one person who seemed genuine, talkin bout my motives and how i act, advisin me that i should enroll into the army. 5 minutes into a decent conversation, she go for a piss, doesn’t come back, so i start walkin home and then the incident occurred 

perhaps doin fuck all with my life aint as bad as i thought it was

i sorta like the thought of that too aha